The "F" word

By the “F” word, I do not mean “Frisson”, certainly, this is far from it.

I fear I might trip and fall,
I fear I might choke if I eat,
I fear I might never marry,
I fear I would be too old by then to bear children,
I fear of hurting the feelings of others,
I fear of committing myself to the wrong man,
I fear of wife-abuse,
I fear of waking up one day to discover new wrinkles on my face.
I fear the unknown.

Confronting my fears sounds like an equation, but alas! I discovered that it involves a lot more effort than it seems. My fear of failures got me so paranoid, I guess.

Sometimes in life, things may not turn out the way I want it to be. But that does not mean I have to stop trying. I ask myself what would happen if I actually fail. I would pick myself up again, and learn from bad experiences.
"Do your best and God will take care of the rest." My primary classmate chipped. I believed in that until recently a case happened. Not going to venture into that case. If I cannot control the outcome, I will stop and let the fear go. Then again, "Doing my best would mean 99% effort, with a remaining 1% good luck."
I have sustained injury to my toe(nail).I fear I will be limping for the rest of my life. My toe(nail) has been a kaleidoscope of colours for the past few days. I watched with fear, Red. Purple, Black, Green, Blue... ...anticipating... ...anticipating GOLD, oh heck, I would be a rich tai tai by then. I take pride in my toenails, they are perfectly pedicured and in a shape that is most pleasing to the eyes (*Hao Lian*). The pain is excruciating, I cried. I fear...fear...that the entire toenail is going to peel off.

I have not stopped jogging.
I have not stopped eating.
I have not stopped receiving love, and in return, reciprocate.
I have not stopped being happy.
I know I will be strong. Resilience is the pillar, and proactive is the concrete.